This week we watched the movie BOY I AM. It is a movie on this certain FTM group that is actually less covered in all the topics we saw than others of LGBT groups.
What's special about this movie is that, these people are not necessarily lesbians. They simply want to live their lives as a man, no matter they have done any surgeries or not. One of them is a lesbian who is happily living with his girlfriend, and decided for himself that he wanted to become a man with the help of hormone and surgery. Another one is born feeling himself a man instead of that "strongest woman" as in his friend's words. The last but not the least is a person that lives with a boy heart, a boy way, a boy look yet a girl's voice. Every time people hear his voice, they would say sorry to him and that is the thing nauseates him like hell.
The movie is short, yet it recorded almost 6 months' process of the changes of the three of them, and after that long waiting and looking forward anxiously, they finally did what they had always wanted and were came out of the hospitals like new-borns, with confidence and happiness. They were constantly trying to convey to us how natural they feel that they want to, or more precisely, they ARE boys, because "it just feels right." They are mistakenly born and trapped in this girl's body and is definitely not living the way they expected. They, in common, obviously suffer constantly from the pain of binding their breasts. Yet, they still want to take that physical pain because the way they look and people's response to how they look absolutely hurt more. What's more, because people don't understand this certain group, they are constantly labeled, misunderstood, evilized and even suffer from violence. That's what's really unfair because others shouldn't decide how anyone else live. For me, I think they are really brave and all of them must have a strong heart to be like this. Otherwise, with this much pressure and obstacles, how can they be so sure that they will take whatever it takes to live their lives regardless of all those social conventions, and most importantly, shout out loudly "BOY I AM."
Luckily, things are better than expected sometimes. I was deeply moved by the fact that the doctor actually does 3~5 times of surgeries and 90% of them are about moving away breasts. This means that more and more people are becoming more open to who they want to be. Also, the change of their family and friends' attitude really speaks a lot. For example, one of the three who took the surgery was introduced and accepted by every single relative as a man although all of them are Catholic, who are "supposed to be old-school and disagreeing with trans and other similar stuff."
Actually, for this certain group of people, misunderstanding can sometimes be inevitable. However, they do deserve respect and it is really important for us to think what we should do since we are kind of different and we do get privilege for being "normal."
Another thing that impressed me was the fact that there are actually people who don't want to put themselves in certain categories, and not accepting any surgeries is not being a coward, because they want to live the way like a man and at the same time absolutely comfortable with their body with female second characteristics.
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